Caroyln Smidts

In between school years at Loyalist College, I worked as a waitress for the Salvation Army Conference Centre in Jackson’s Point. This summer job provided me a couple of opportunities for me to work as a photojournalist and freelance my work. Every summer the Salvation Army Conference Centre has been catering to ‘Moms and Tots’, a camp group for mothers and their children. The camp provides a Christian, two-week program at a low cost and is geared towards single mothers. The mother I ended up doing a story on actually isn’t a single mother, but had a very intriguing story to tell. Pictures and article below.

JACKSON'S POINT, On (18/08/10)- Carolyn helps Ethan, 6, put dressing on his salad during their lunch time meal of grilled cheese and tossed salad. Photo by Leah Myers.

JACKSON'S POINT, On (18/08/10)- Carolyn Smidts follows Zumba instructor, Kelen DeBrito during their hour long dancing lesson. Carolyn enjoyed participating in the Zumba lesson even though it wasn't 'her cup of tea'. Photo by Leah Myers.

Salvation for a Mom 

The Story of Caroyln Smidts and her strength through God and the Salvation Army

By Leah Myers

Salvation Army’s Moms and Tots camp in Jackson’s Point, Ontario, runs two programs in August, each a week long, and it’s not only fun and nurturing for all Mom’s and young children- but also an intimate way to get away from a busy life and reconnect with God.

Particularly geared for the single mother, Moms and Tots is an inexpensive camp with a schedule set for an invaluable experience. Although Carolyn Smidts, mother of two- 6-year old Ethan and 13-year old Jillian- didn’t miss out on any of the interest sections, such as fused glass pendant making and Zumba dancing, she benefited mostly from the quality time with her son and the morning Bible Study for the moms. Carolyn recognizes how enlightening the mom’s morning classes were for those who hadn’t been exposed to the Bible beforehand because the program is a fun way to get them introduced to it. Carolyn, who was brought up in a strong Christian home, viewed the Bible Study as a reiterative means. 

Carolyn, 32, has two children, is engaged, and has worked for the last two years at an emergency house the Salvation Army runs for the county of Oxford.

Periodically in her life, Carolyn admits she has felt like a weak Christian, and consequentially, has made some not-so-Christian choices. She grew up in a religious school-system, with friends who shared the same beliefs as her, but as life went on she picked up new friends in new places, such as work environments, etc., and they didn’t always relate with her.

“It’s hard, when you’re standing around the water cooler or whatever, your scenario might be to find someone who shares those things [same beliefs], because they’re sitting around talking about how they got wasted last night, and you’re just kind of like, oh yeah?”

Carolyn knows it’s easy to slip back into one’s old life-style, and is grateful she serves a forgiving God. 

Being in a Christian environment, Carolyn is reassured that Jesus loves her regardless.

“He can love Rehab, and the Woman at the Well, Jezebel, and everyone else, why can’t He love me? It’s great to have that reaffirming.”

Carolyn became pregnant with her daughter at the age of 18, and because of the alcohol-induced and misunderstand circumstances, the father has never been part of the picture.

Carolyn found herself in a complicated situation where the criticisms and controversy of her becoming a teenage mother forced Carolyn to unwillingly oblige pressures of giving her daughter over for adoption. Carolyn notes that views on young motherhood have changed drastically since 1996, but still remembers being obstinately judged for being a teenage parent.

Curiously, Carolyn gave birth to her daughter, Jillian, on Easter Sunday and when Carolyn’s father came to her a few days before the adoption was to be official, saying that if she wanted to keep the baby, him and her mother would help, Carolyn knew God was on her side.

When Jillian was five months, Carolyn was going to school for business administration, and had only been attending for a month before her life took another drastic turn and she almost lost her life in a car accident. Carolyn was in the hospital for three months and it took her about a year and half of physiotherapy for her to be able to walk again. As a result, Carolyn’s parents became Jillian’s full-time caregivers during this time.

Carolyn’s daughter was around two years old when they picked up and moved to London, Ontario. Feeling like her daughter didn’t know who she was, Carolyn needed to reconnect with Jillian and reestablish their relationship.

In London, Carolyn attended college for a couple years. Then they moved back to Woodstock, where she got stuck in a rut job-wise. Shortly then after, her and Jillian moved in with a man Carolyn was dating; with him, she had her son, Ethan. 

It was in February, 2006, that Carolyn came to realize that she was in an abusive relationship with Ethan’s father.

“The moment that it caught me, was when my children were huddled in my daughter’s bedroom closet. That’s when I said to myself, you know what, I can’t let my children think this is what a healthy relationship is... and I have to leave.”

Because she wasn’t working during this time, when Carolyn left with her children, she had no income- so they sought refuge at a women’s shelter and Carolyn took a part-time job at McDonald’s.

Carolyn and her children moved into geared income housing in April, and within the next couple of years, she worked office jobs that didn’t turn out to be what she wanted. Carolyn searched for something closer to where she was living in Woodstock, and found a job running a Salvation Army emergency house for the county of Oxford. Carolyn, who helped the house take in homeless families and set them up with a place to live, described this job as a ‘saving grace’. Not only for the families they helped, but for herself, too.

Today, Carolyn is engaged to a man named Steven, who she proclaims to be ‘absolutely wonderful!’ They are all moved in together, and the wedding is dated for November of this year.

Though Carolyn believes that the Lord has finally blessed her with an opportunity for a happy, fresh start in life- she also knows how she came to the point where she is now, and why it’s not only important to have faith through trying times, but also why it’s important to maintain her strength in Christ always. Moms and Tots camp is one of the many camp programs the Salvation Army offers to help emphasize the importance of an unwavering faith in God.

Carolyn and her son both enjoyed meeting new people and the accepting environment at Moms and Tots Camp. Carolyn felt that at the camp, people sincerely cared where she stood spiritually. Carolyn drew strength from this week and reports how nice it is to be able to go back into the world with a refreshed, ‘Me and God can do this together’, attitude.

‘God has never left me; it’s me that’s walked away from Him... and He’s here when I need to come back to Him. [Laughs] And I thank God for that!’

She also adds that it’s ‘nice to come here [camp] and feel that connection again and the strength in it.’

Carolyn also expresses how great it is to be surrounded by such a diverse group of people to share stories with. She says that at Moms and Tots camp, ‘you’re not the only person who’s a single mother, you’re not going to be judged because of it, and you’re not alone.’